Careful of just recounting memories in your memoir

Today I want to start with a question. Do you know the difference between memories and a memoir? (Okay, if you speak French, they mean the same thing, but I’m talking about English here.)

This question is a little bit like asking, “What is the difference between eggs, flour, sugar, and butter and a birthday cake?” Basically, in the first situation, you have all the necessary ingredients. You simply have yet to turn them into a finished dessert.

The same is true with memoirs. So many writers think that their memories are all they need. Unfortunately, that is just the beginning of the process. 


Let me give you an example of how a poorly written memoir is laid out. In fact, this is what almost all writers, even experienced ones, do when they first try their hand at memoir:


When I was 20, I got married for the first time. He drank too much and was out late every night. Our marriage lasted two years.

After our divorce, I decided I wanted to travel. So I went to Jamaica with my best friend Lola. It amazed me how the sun seemed to heal my pain, how piña coladas took away the sense of loneliness I felt as a divorced woman.

A few years later, I decided to go to college. Michigan State was where I met Seymour. He was the tallest man I ever met. He was captain of the college swim team and always seemed to be in a good mood.

I was a senior at Michigan State when my first child was born, a little girl named Lily. Being a mother was something I never counted on to change my life. However, when I stared at Lily for the first time, I knew that nothing would ever be the same.

Two years later, we had our first son, a six-pound baby we decided to name Jacob. Jacob was so different from Lily. He never slept through the night and by the time he started walking, he got into everything. I was so worried he’d find some bottle of bleach I’d forgotten to store away or stick his little fingers into a light socket.


So maybe this isn’t driving you crazy yet, but if the writer crafted a whole book this way, basically recounting the history of their life, you wouldn’t be able to stand it for more than five pages. Even if this writer expanded on each of these ideas with rich prose and let me live through all of these events, that still wouldn’t solve the structural problems that already exist here. Why? Because the writer is working with a bunch of memories instead of turning those memories into a story.


A reader is not interested in the memories you have of your life. A reader will only pay money for your book if you give them a good story. Why do we watch movies and read novels? Because we want a good story. So your task as a memoir writer is to take these memories and turn them into plot. 


How do you create plot (or structure, as it’s usually called in memoir)?


I'll give you an example in next week's email. Stay tuned.


You might also be interested in my upcoming Memoir Engineering System class, where we will talk about the right way to turn your memories into memoir.

Official enrollment date:
Wednesday, May 1 at 7 p.m. Eastern for North Americans 
Thursday, May 2 at 9 a.m. Sydney time for Aussies and Kiwis

Be sure to put the date on your calendar as the class always sells out in less than 24 hours.

Here is the signup link:
https://www.memoirwritingforgeniuses.com/may2024mastermind


Wishing you happy writing! Till next week.