How to use narration in between dialogue

In last week’s post, I covered dialogue and why you shouldn’t solely rely on it to tell your story. You need to use dialogue with narration so the reader gets a deep understanding of what is actually going on in the scene. 

Now you might be wondering: What should I include in my narration? In today’s email, I talk about exactly this: the kind of information that should follow lines of dialogue.

1. Interpret what your characters really mean. 

What people say and what people mean are often two very different things. In a movie, we can hear a character’s tone and can deduce what it is they really mean. But this isn’t true when all you have is the written word on the page.

Take the dialogue, “You look sick.”

Is this being said by a surfer telling his girlfriend she looks incredible? Or is this being said by a worried parent talking to his daughter? The tone is very different. Here is where narration becomes incredibly important for your reader to actually understand what is going on in the scene.

See how the narration completely changes the meaning of the dialogue in the following two examples:

“You look sick!” Bart always had a way of making me feel incredible. And I appreciated that he noticed the effort I’d put into getting dressed that day.

“You look sick!” Bart felt his daughter’s forehead. There was no way she would be going to school today.

Without the narration, there is no way to know what Bart is actually trying to say in these two examples. 

2. Interpret what you really mean.

In the same way that people don't always say what they really mean, the same is true of your narrator: You too often say one thing and mean something else. 

Take the phrase, “It’s so sunny out today.” This could mean so many different things. Here are just a couple of examples:

“It’s so sunny out today.” After six days of snow, I can’t believe that winter is finally over.

“It's so sunny out today.” I want Josh to think that this is a good thing, when in fact, it's putting me in a sour mood. I can already feel the freckles starting to form on my cheeks. 

Here is another example:

“I just love hamsters.” I’m hoping that Jorge will take the hint and buy me one for my birthday.

“I just love hamsters.” I don't really. I think they look like little rats. But I can tell Stephanie this the first time I'm meeting her. I don't want to break her little five-year-old heart. 

3. Tell us how a character's comment affects you emotionally. 

When a character speaks to you in your memoir, it can often be important to let us know the effect that this dialogue has on you. Sometimes you will read into what another person is saying. Or sometimes you will think something unexpected in response, something you would never have the guts to say out loud.

Let me give you a few examples.

“You doing okay?” my boss asks. No need to tell him about the pain in my ankle that has since spread to my knee. No need to tell him I'm having trouble making it to the bathroom on my own. 

“Are you going to eat that entire piece of cake?” I'm going to eat it. I might have another one too or maybe a slice of cherry pie. “I think it's sugar-free.” It's not really but he doesn't need to know that. It's not like he's diabetic. 

“Why don't you take some leftovers?” I know that the guacamole will turn brown before I even get it home. But you don't have the heart to tell Mrs. Gonzales no.  

I hope you're getting a sense of how important narration is to your book. 

So, how much narration should you include? You don’t always have to include narration between every line of dialogue. It's a matter of style. As a rough guideline: the more narration you have, the more literary your book becomes. 


Happy writing!